Are you ready for it?
Ha don’t worry, I’m not doing a T Swift. Rather, settle in for something a little more honest, vulnerable and sentimental (not a jab at TS, I am a big fan). If you know me, you know vulnerability isn’t one of my fortes. Sure, I might share too much and be too goddamn honest at times, but real vulnerability is another story. To keep it brief, taking a deep dive into my motivations, inspirations, energy and purpose has been a major theme of the year. These thoughts are things that have been fermenting (see what I did there?) for most of my time in Europe. Moving away from my cushy Sydney life has made me question, feel and reflect on my life and who I want to be. Thank goodness! I have been asking myself questions like:
- How do I want to feel each day?
- How will my body respond? How will I find balance?
- What is it exactly that brings me satisfaction?
- What do I need from each day? Physically, emotionally, socially?
- Where can I potentially move?
- Who will I be working with?
Common sense? Perhaps. Easy? Far from it. It is through these questions and the self awareness challenges they present, that I have become more self assured and ready to commit to something that is just for me. No more “I am good at this, so I should just persist” justification for staying in a job that does not satisfy me. No more settling. The end. It’s time to really own something that brings me joy. I deserve happiness. Obvs.
Along the way, my family have been a recurring theme. They are fucking insane. Regardless, I love em. Of course! But seriously, I really do. On both sides of my extended family we have not had the best of relationships. Things are, well, fractured. Within my immediate family things are also a little strained. I’d love to change that. I have so much respect for everyone in my family. I’d love to play a part in patching us all back together. It is almost as though I am seeking to fill a hole that no one knows quite how to. Perhaps a closer relationship to the world of wine will help heal some family pain. Hear me out.
Remember how I said that there is a small handful of people whose opinions I care about? Surprise surprise, most of them are my fam bam. Looking back, some of the most meaningful moments (magical moments?) are ones shared with my family… over a bottle of wine. Note the use of the word “bottle”, not “glass”. Part of being a Bucholtz means enjoying a good drink. I’m ok with that. So, wine has always been there and I’ll never forget the way it has contributed to the moment. The wine has given that extra sparkle more times than I can say. Here are a few.
Dad. My Dad loves his heavy reds. The more round the deep red fruits and bold the spices are, the better. Often surrounded by his loud and annoying children (my words, not his), a big red is exactly what he needs. I will always remember childhood family dinners with Dad sitting at the end of the table, taking in the chaos and slowly grinning a little with each sip of Australian shiraz. My dad and red wine are a perfect match, a tale as old as time. Even while writing this I am smiling from the image of his shiraz tinted grin. Mum. My mum is one of my closest friends. We like to go on little dates. I help her escape the monotony of school teaching and she reminds me that I am valuable. We are good for each other. What do you know, these special moments often feature a sauvignon blanc or two. Mum is always a little more frank, a little more open, after a glass of savy b. I’ll always be grateful for these moments, something that no one, not even my sisters will understand. It is as though we share in a glass and share in a moment of peace. Wine and our relationship will always be linked. But only two wines, because any more than that and god forbid mum loses the plot and will likely suffer a nasty hangover. I’d hate to be the reason for that! eek!Elise. My big sister is my big inspiration. I take what Elise says as gospel. She is perfect and flawed in the most beautiful way. People crave her attention because it is fleeting, yet priceless. A moment with Elise with a glass of wine is something special. It means that you have her attention. Being so busy and desired means that due to there only being 24hrs in a day, her attention is something quite rare. I don’t mean that in a bad way of course, just from the perspective of a little sis looking up. When there is a lovely glass of red at a beautiful wine bar you can be assured that Elise and her beauty is yours for a few moments. Sounds silly, but it’s as though the wine is grounding for her, for us. Wine brings a sense of gratitude. Then, the inspiring conversation can really begin. I am so grateful for these moments and these wines. Although, I nearly died when she ordered us $30 glasses of Yarra Valley red… She can pick up the check next time ha!
Gemma. It is safe to say that my relationship with Gemma is fractured. We do not often talk. I regret that. When we do talk, nine times out of ten there is a bottle of wine nearby. For better or worse, Gemma and wine go hand in hand. For as long as I can remember, Gemma has always had a strong taste for wine. She knows how to talk about it, she knows what she likes. Gemma was actually the one who introduced me to the concept of wine tasting back in 2015. She took me on a wine tasting tour of Kelowna, Canada. I was so impressed and just a big little kid ready to learn. My sis was teaching me grown up things and we were not fighting, for once. I couldn’t believe it. Ever since then, I have been eager to learn more about wine. Gemma taught me that wine is what adults like, that wine is for nice times and to be enjoyed. Before that, I just thought alcohol was for getting drunk. I owe Gemma a lot.
Kael. This little shit is growing up to be pretty cool. I haven’t seen him for almost a year, but have some fantastic memories of frolicking the Mudgee wine region with him. I also can’t wait to share my knowledge with my baby bro and teach him that the cheapest is not necessarily the best. It will take some convincing, no doubt. Taking a giant step back, did you know that the Bucholtz’s were instrumental in starting the Mudgee wine region? That’s right! In the late 1800s the Bucholtz family sailed from Germany to Australia to help bring German wine making techniques to the land down under. Maybe my love of a dry riesling is in my blood?! It is almost as though I’ll be contributing to the full circle of the Bucholtz history in Australia. Taking things back to the start sounds kinda nice to me.
Aww a little sentimental, but so what. My family loves wine. I love my family. I love wine. xx
Ps. My French family consists of the wonderful Mrs. Jessica Power. This magnificent woman has become my sister. She has helped to shape who I am today. With words of wisdom, both brutal honesty and comfort, Jess has given me so much. Not only have we shared a lot of magical moments, but we have enjoyed a lot of rose together. Very French. Before Jess, I didn’t drink rose, but would sneer at it and judge. “Rose all day”. I refused to be one of those girls. I don’t have enough instagram followers for that ha. But, I can thank Jess for breaking down my barrier against rose. Our long talks have both shown me the variety of dry to sweet roses, and opened my eyes to self confidence and the fact that I deserve it. Over a few glasses of rose, Jess has taught me to practice being myself. She has shown me that I can be happy being me just for me, not for someone else. If I didn’t have Jess, I don’t know what I would do. I certainly wouldn’t respect rose the way I do today. And when I say rose, I mean myself.